My father is not my father

 My father is not my father
You used to hug me like I was your last breath.

You used to give me everything like I was your queen.

You would keep me close like I was your biggest secret.

You would tell me how much you love me yet, you leave me while I sleep.

When I am most vulnerable and I don't even know it.

I had no idea that you were hiding another person behind your mask.

I had no idea that you would choose a life in hell over a life with your daughter.

I'm sorry l didn't give you that feeling that meth could.

While I cry you just stood.

You were not my father, You are just a sperm donor.
You did things that I will carry with me for my whole life.
You were not there for me

You were a snake, a ghost to me.

I didn't even know who you were

you were a different person and you scared me.

Late night car rides, 1, 2 in the morning.

Police behind us I can hear your heart beating like fists of people in war

Behind bars, restrictions, handcuffs,

You would rather be with crystals for your death

Now I can't see you

I will never see my father again

You didn't think and you left me forever 

You knew what the consequences were and you didn't care. Now i'm in high school and I don't have time to sit around and Cry

I miss you, I really do but you didn't care and now I get to not care for once.

I used to be the parent

worrying about where you were, when you would come back,

and now I get to be a teenager.